Why Am I Having Intrusive Thoughts?
understanding OCD | vancouver counselling
You’re minding your business.
Maybe driving. Maybe lying in bed. Maybe mid-conversation.
And then, out of nowhere:
What if I hurt someone?
What if I lose control?
What if I actually want this?
What if this means something about me?
And your whole body reacts before you can even think straight.
A drop in your stomach.
A wave of dread.
Your brain immediately trying to solve it.
“Why would I think that?”
“Am I okay?”
“Is this who I am?”
This is the part a lot of people don’t talk about:
intrusive thoughts don’t feel random. they feel personal.
first: intrusive thoughts are incredibly common
Most people have intrusive thoughts.
Violent ones. Sexual ones. Taboo ones.
Thoughts that go completely against who they are.
The difference isn’t whether you have them.
It’s what happens next.
For some people, the thought passes like a weird pop-up ad.
For others, it sticks.
Loops.
Gets analyzed, checked, replayed.
That’s often where OCD comes in.
what actually makes it OCD?
OCD isn’t about liking the thoughts.
It’s about how your brain responds to them.
A simplified loop looks like this:
intrusive thought shows up
anxiety spikes (fast, physical, intense)
your brain tries to neutralize it
temporary relief
the thought comes back stronger
The “neutralizing” part can look like:
mentally reviewing: “would I actually do that?”
reassurance seeking (googling, asking others)
avoiding certain situations or people
checking your feelings: “did that feel wrong enough?”
trying to replace the thought with a “good” one
And here’s the trap:
the more you try to solve the thought, the more important your brain thinks it is.
the part that really messes with people
Intrusive thoughts tend to target what matters most to you.
If you’re a caring person, you might get thoughts about harming others.
If you value your relationship, you might get doubts about it.
If you’re thoughtful and conscientious, you might get fears about being reckless or immoral.
So it doesn’t just feel scary.
It feels like evidence.
Like your brain is exposing something dark or hidden.
But in OCD, it’s usually the opposite:
the thought sticks because it doesn’t align with you.
“but what if it does mean something?”
This is usually the hook.
The what if that keeps you stuck.
Not the thought itself, but the need to be 100% certain about what it means.
Because your brain is trying to do something protective:
“If I can just figure this out, I’ll be safe.”
But OCD doesn’t resolve through certainty.
It feeds on it.
Every time you try to “figure it out,” you reinforce the loop.
what intrusive thoughts can feel like in the body
This isn’t just mental.
It’s physical.
a tight chest
nausea or a drop in your stomach
headaches or pressure behind your eyes
full-body tension or aching
fatigue from constantly scanning and analyzing
People often say:
“I feel like I can’t relax in my own mind.”
“I’m exhausted from thinking.”
“I don’t trust myself anymore.”
That’s not weakness.
That’s a nervous system that’s been stuck in overdrive.
what actually helps (and what doesn’t)
What doesn’t help:
trying to prove the thought wrong
arguing with it
analyzing it until it “feels resolved”
avoiding anything that might trigger it
What does help (even though it feels counterintuitive):
learning to notice the thought without engaging it
allowing uncertainty to exist
reducing compulsions (mental and behavioral)
working with your nervous system, not against it
This is the foundation of approaches like exposure and response prevention (ERP), often alongside trauma-informed or parts-based work.
one thing I want you to take from this
If you’re stuck in this loop, you probably already know something’s off.
Most people with intrusive thoughts know the thoughts don’t reflect who they are.
They just don’t know why they keep happening
or how to get out of the cycle.
You’re not “becoming” your thoughts.
You’re caught in a pattern your brain learned to protect you.
And patterns can be unlearned.
if this sounds like you
You don’t have to keep managing this on your own.
This is something I work with a lot: intrusive thoughts, OCD patterns, anxiety that doesn’t make sense but feels very real in your body.
If you’re in Vancouver (or anywhere in BC for virtual sessions), you can book a free 20-minute consult and we can talk through what’s been happening for you, low pressure.
